[Follow up] Spirituality at work

So my last blog 'post', if I can call it that, on the subject of spirituality at work was a bit brief. As I struggle personally with the subject, it was interesting to find a few gems hidden in a book that I had started and not finished, right before I was about to banish it back to my bookshelves, possibly forever (gasp!).

The book is one that I already discussed in this blog in a past post - The Five Languages of Love. A good book with many pearls of wisdom that are very applicable. As I leafed through the book on the way to the bookshelf I feel on one of the last chapters which discussed love languages at work. The author relates one story in which two co-workers did not really get along. One of the two attempted to apply the precepts of the book and try to understand the love language of her co-worker. Once she did this her whole attitude to the co-worker changed, timidly, and, surprisingly to her, so did that of the co-worker did too. From two co-workers that were cold to each other, their relationship became one of mutual aid and eventually friendship. Asides from being a modern fable, it was actually quite interesting to think about... I tried to relate it to my own experience and it has given me food for thought.

A bit further though I read something that really caught my eye and attention. A sub-chapter entitled "Is it hypocritical to love?" It got my attention because this is really something I have been struggling with. How do you find love for people you work with if you don't know them or have an initially cold relationship? Can you pretend to love them without feeling like an idiot, or hypocritical or without causing them to think that you are just plain weird? It all seems very California granola-ish... not sure that it works anywhere in which granola is not considered one of the primary food groups.

And here was the chapter attempting to answer my question for me. So I read on.  The author Gary Chapman punted himself and referred to another author-thinker CS Lewis whom he quotes as follows:

The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you "love" your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you love someone, you will presently come to love him.

I have been trying to apply these words. Occasionally I forget and the reaction of the 'other' is not pretty. When I stay on track though it is heart-warming (usually) to see the reactions of others.

It seems that no matter where I go with this blog it keeps circling back to the golden rule. Hmmm.

Anyway, I will try to apply CS Lewis's method. Just remind me gently if you see me forgetting to walk the talk... Gently. Please.

Benevolence and intention...

In a recent business presentation, of all places, I came across the following quote from Adam Smith, an economist who is best known for his Invisible Hand metaphor which is often understood, and possibly with the author's intention, to say that each of us, following and acting on our own self-interest (read egotism) actually ends up doing good for society, even if it is unintentional.

As the philosophical father of modern capitalism, I was a bit surprised to come across the following from the same author in a treatise entitled The Theory of Moral Sentiments:

No benevolent man ever lost altogether the fruits of his benevolence. If he does not always gather them from the persons from whom he ought to have gathered them, he seldom fails to gather them, and with a tenfold increase, from other people. Kindness is the parent of kindness; and if to be beloved by our brethren be the great object of our ambition, the surest way of obtaining it is, by our conduct to show that we really love them.

The first part of this quote is not too original but expresses the sentiment that is a bit like 'bread upon the waters' in which you gather what you sow tenfold in terms of human kindness. A definite benefit for those who apply the golden rule (see a previous post on this subject).

The second element, "kindness is the parent of kindness" is also a wonderful sentiment and something to remember, just like the contagious nature of smiles and laughter, kindness is also viral... So taking these two elements together it would seem that not only do you get back tenfold benevolence but you also spread tenfold benevolence around the world. The image that comes to my mind is the proverbial pebble ripples in a pond. Nice to think that that is or could be the case.

The third element of this wonderfully rich paragraph is a bit more intriguing: "if to be beloved by our brethren be the great object of our ambition". My initial reaction was 1/it seems strange to me that we can have an ambition of being beloved by others and/or that that could be a positive thing; and 2/that today the word ambition has a negative connotation (albeit only in my mind) or at least a connotation that is not very spiritual. Upon reflection, ambition, just like pride, can be very positive sentiments that can encourage and inspire people to do great things. And just like the 'invisible hand' if it is out of an ambition to be beloved by others that drives you to loving others, as Adam Smith suggests, what could be wrong with that?! For what a wonderful way to end this lovely paragraph, it is not about telling people that you love them but by showing them - by our conduct to show that we really love them.

Love thy neighbor as thyself... do unto others as you would have them do unto you... Adam Smith seems to be giving us another version of the golden rule. What is interesting too is that Adam Smith begins his paragraph in the third person (he, other) but ends it on a collective and more personal note (our).

A wonderful paragraph rich in wonderful sentiments.

And now I suggest that we go out and throw our little pebbles into the big pond...

The Bible - The Old Testament

One of my favorite authors, if not my favorite author, Meir Shalev, wrote a book whose title I could translate from Hebrew into "Firsts" but will apparently appear as In the Beginning: Firsts in the Bible. It is all about firsts mentioned in Genesis. The first love, first kiss, first hate, first murder, first war, first king, first laugh, first dream, first cry, first spy, first prophet, first wise man... A book of firsts which is interesting, especially for anyone who enjoys the Bible, and even more so, for anyone who enjoys literary and/or biblical interpretation. 

For those who know the Old Testament, there are always at least three levels of interpretation for each word, let alone each story. Shalev adds another level of interpretation by implicitly suggesting that each first that appears in the first book about "in the beginning" (the literal translation of Genesis from the Hebrew) has additional importance by the mere fact of it being a first.

An interesting example is that the first love that is mentioned in Genesis is not what you would expect and not when you would expect it. Love appears relatively late in the narrative as it waits for Abraham. And the first love is not what you would expect either. It is not love for God, it is not love for his wife Sarah, it is not love for Agar the servant with whom he had his first son Ismael, it is not for his first born Ismael... The first love that is mentioned is the love of Isaac, his son from Sarah his wife, and it is only mentioned by God when he instructs Abraham to sacrifice Isaac.

Chapter 22 of Genesis:

And it came to pass after these things, that God did prove Abraham, and said unto him: 'Abraham'; and he said: 'Here am I.' And He said: 'Take now thy son, thine only son, whom thou lovest, even Isaac, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt-offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.'

So it is interesting to consider, and Shalev invites us to do so, that no love was mentioned between Adam and Eve, that it wasn't lover's love or a mother's love, but that of a father for his son. And it was neither the son nor the father that mentions it, but rather God. It almost seems like an adjective used to describe Isaac, rather than an appreciation of the love of a father for his son, but there it is nonetheless.

As an aside to this story, and something I had never realized before, but Shalev points out that this event, the very grim pseudo sacrifice of Isaac by Abraham, created a significant before-after rift. One of the gifts of the Biblical author(s) is subtlety. In a very subtle manner it is possible to understand without it being said explicitly that Abraham does not go back to Sarah after this and that Abraham and Isaac never live together again.

The rest of the story is also fascinating, with Abraham later sending a servant to help find a wife, Rebecca, for Isaac. But that you will have to read on your own (Genesis chapters 26 and onwards).

With some humor, Shalev announces another first: the first dream. He declares with some sadness that the first dream is not what we would guess either. It is not Jacob's Ladder, in which Angels ascend and descend from Heaven but the dream of a foreign King who dreams of Abraham (then Avram) wife Sarah (then Sarai) who the king wanted to take as a concubine as he was told that she was Avram's sister (Avram was afraid that he would be killed by the king because Sarai was so beautiful)...

The book is full of stories and interesting personal interpretation on Shalev's part. It is a wonderful book, but it is also a wonderful way to rediscover the Old Testament. So many wonderful and rich stories. While the book is wonderful it is even better if you keep a copy of the Old Testament next to your bedside table so as to be able to revisit the original in parallel.

Great literature and inspiration to go back and discover-rediscover Genesis. A wonderful book no matter what belief system you bring with you.

PS Shalev wrote another book on the Old Testament, Bible Now, already in 1985, with personal interpretations of biblical stories.
PS2 Another great book of Meir Shalev's, recently translated into English, About a Pigeon and a Boy, . Wonderful literature. Highly recommended!