Giving (better) advice or giving advice (better)

One of the things that are tough to deal with in our post-modern world is the whole notion of giving advice. And that is for many reasons. The more we read and search and learn the more we have a willingness to share that knowledge with others. And sometimes that "willingness to share" comes out less neutral than we would like and more like advice.

Then there are many hang-ups about advice. We all have our own but often I know that I feel that maybe giving advice is a form of arrogance? I mean really, without going to the extent of Socrates, do I really know enough about anything to justify giving advice? Then there are the social takes on advice, like only give advice when you are asked. Or the post-modern injunction of "everyone is ok as is" which I guess kind of precludes any advice that could possibly change someone. Then there is the Venus-Mars world in which apparently women are not looking for advice in respect to any problems/situations/decisions, they just want to be heard. Advice, such we are told, is a Mars no-no.

Spiritually-speaking, the more we delve the more we realize that the unseen is greater than the seen, that we understand a lot less than we think, and that what may ring true to us on one level may be seen from an entirely different perspective from another. Without going too far into that debate, it is clear that advice, in that spirit, is a slippery slope.

That said, we are often confronted with friends, colleagues, family members who either ask for or seem to need our advice. What to do, what to do?


An interesting answer to the question is given in a recent blog post in Psychology Today in which behavioralists seem to have cracked the code on effectivly giving advice. They looked into the way people actually use advice and found four main kinds of advice:  

• Advice for (a recommendation),  
• Advice against,  
• Decision support (suggesting how to make a decision); and 
• Information (offering new information about a subject).

Interestingly, decision makers seem to value the feeling (or illusion) of making their own decision independently. Thus the first three forms of advice makes the decision maker feel they have lost a bit of autonomy in making a choice. However, when the advice is given solely as information the decision can listen to and use the information without feeling like they have not made up their own minds - independently.

And if that wasn't enough, when you give advice as information it also helps the person receiving the advice in future related decisions and makes them more confident about their choice.

So there you have it, a little perspective on giving advice. However, please note that this post was made on a purely informative basis : )