[Follow up] Spirituality at work

So my last blog 'post', if I can call it that, on the subject of spirituality at work was a bit brief. As I struggle personally with the subject, it was interesting to find a few gems hidden in a book that I had started and not finished, right before I was about to banish it back to my bookshelves, possibly forever (gasp!).

The book is one that I already discussed in this blog in a past post - The Five Languages of Love. A good book with many pearls of wisdom that are very applicable. As I leafed through the book on the way to the bookshelf I feel on one of the last chapters which discussed love languages at work. The author relates one story in which two co-workers did not really get along. One of the two attempted to apply the precepts of the book and try to understand the love language of her co-worker. Once she did this her whole attitude to the co-worker changed, timidly, and, surprisingly to her, so did that of the co-worker did too. From two co-workers that were cold to each other, their relationship became one of mutual aid and eventually friendship. Asides from being a modern fable, it was actually quite interesting to think about... I tried to relate it to my own experience and it has given me food for thought.

A bit further though I read something that really caught my eye and attention. A sub-chapter entitled "Is it hypocritical to love?" It got my attention because this is really something I have been struggling with. How do you find love for people you work with if you don't know them or have an initially cold relationship? Can you pretend to love them without feeling like an idiot, or hypocritical or without causing them to think that you are just plain weird? It all seems very California granola-ish... not sure that it works anywhere in which granola is not considered one of the primary food groups.

And here was the chapter attempting to answer my question for me. So I read on.  The author Gary Chapman punted himself and referred to another author-thinker CS Lewis whom he quotes as follows:

The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you "love" your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you love someone, you will presently come to love him.

I have been trying to apply these words. Occasionally I forget and the reaction of the 'other' is not pretty. When I stay on track though it is heart-warming (usually) to see the reactions of others.

It seems that no matter where I go with this blog it keeps circling back to the golden rule. Hmmm.

Anyway, I will try to apply CS Lewis's method. Just remind me gently if you see me forgetting to walk the talk... Gently. Please.

Spirituality in the face of evil

It is difficult for me to get my head around how to feel/act/react in the face of evil. It is easy to be spiritual in a protected environment but how do you deal with evil people? In Conversations with God and other spiritual books, the question you are suggested to answer before you act/react to anything or anyone is "what would love do now?" And I don't know what love does in those cases when you are faced with a truly bad apple...

I just saw a scary documentary about the rise of the extreme right throughout many countries in Europe. According to the documentary, in 16 different countries in Europe the extreme right has recently obtained the highest electoral scores since the second world war. There are several Euro deputies which are extreme right. In a nutshell, post 9/11 anti-muslim sentiment is being used as justification for anti-immigrant attitudes, laws and prejudices. Fascism seems to be gaining traction.

So in the face of people who dislike other people without knowing them but based only on their race, creed, color or religion, what does spirituality have to say? Or more generally in the face of "socially unacceptable behavior? Turn the other cheek is a tough credo to accept. Love and compassion for them is also tough... What is a proper response to aggression, violence, hate or any of the negative '-isms'?

Possibly the greatest insight of the golden rule - Love thy brother as thyself - is that no matter how someone behaves you are similar to some degree. That is brother = thyself. Not an easy thing to admit, maybe THE major difficulty of the golden rule. And that is probably part of spirituality, recognizing that no matter how despicable or ugly we might find someone's actions, we have the potential for thinking or acting similarly (or worse) given the proper context.

As fate would have it (see post on synchronicity : )) between the time that I started the first draft of this post and the time of this writing I listened to some music and a very appropriate song manifested itself out of the iPod ether: U2's God Part 2. Here are the lyrics:

Don't believe the devil, I don't believe his book
But the truth is not the same, Without the lies he made up

Don't believe in excess, Success is to give
Don't believe in riches, But you should see where I live
I...I believe in love

Don't believe in forced entry, Don't believe in rape
But every time she passes by, Wild thoughts escape

I don't believe in death row, Skid row or the gangs
Don't believe in the Uzi, It just went off in my hand
I...I believe in love

Don't believe in cocaine, Got a speed-ball in my head
I could cut and crack you open, Do you hear what I said

Don't believe them when they tell me, There ain't no cure
The rich stay healthy, The sick stay poor
I...I believe in love

Don't believe in Goldman, His type like a curse
Instant karma's going to get him, If I don't get him first

Don't believe in rock 'n' roll, Can really change the world
As it spins in revolution, It spirals and turns
I...I believe in love

Don't believe in the 60's, The golden age of pop
You glorify the past, When the future dries up

Heard a singer on the radio late last night
He says he's gonna kick the darkness, 'til it bleeds daylight
I...I believe in love

I feel like I'm falling, Like I'm spinning on a wheel
It always stops beside of me, With a presence I can feel
I...I believe in love

There is a lot we could say about these lyrics (what a great song!) but the main reason the lyrics of this song resonated with me for this post was the passage "I don't believe in violence, I don't believe in rape, but every time she walks on by violent thoughts escape." My feeling is that no matter how nice we try to be and how nice we act, how 'spiritually evolved' we may be (or believe ourselves to be) our thoughts are a bit more tricky.

Now one thing that comes out of almost all spiritual and pseudo-spiritual lit' is that thoughts become reality (which could be a brief condensation of the law of attraction). So the thinking of the thought is equivalent on some (meta-physical) level to the acting of the act. Kind of like the aphorism attributed to Jesus, let he who is without sin cast the first stone (after a quick search it would seem that the exact phrase is "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her"). I doubt anyone reading this blog believes in violence, or rape, or murder, but certainly violent thoughts escape. We can hide from them or recognize them but there they are. Sometimes, as Oscar Wilde knew, we are all murderers... In the Ballad of Reading Gaol an epic poem he writes:

Yet each man kills the thing he loves, By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young, And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust, Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long, Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears, And some without a sigh...

"Each man kills the thing he loves..." Which probably means none of us can cast the first stone...

But it is one thing to admit that we have violent thoughts and another to accept the violent actions of others. Even if we are able to admit that we all have our monstrous sides to us, what then? To admit that you could have done something does not mean that you need to accept, condone or turn a blind eye to someone else's improper behavior... But what do you do? The parenting metaphor in which a parent can love a child without accepting improper behavior seems too easy in the face of psychopaths, criminals, deviants or just mean people. Bono, seems to come up with a spiritual answer, I believe in love. But how do each of us, which together makes 'society', deal with these issues?

I am not coming up with any answers or insights. I will have to revisit some spiritual literature to see if I can find the topic discussed. I have a vague recollection of the subject being mentioned in the Course in Miracles and/or Conversations with God but I can't be sure.

So it looks like I will have to complete this post at a later date, after I do a little research. If you know of any place I should be looking or have your own personal opinions on the matter please let me know.

PS If you were curious, the Goldman reference in the song is to the guy who wrote a scathing biography about Lennon that apparently Bono did not really appreciate...